Puff Daddy’s at it again.

This is so, so funny. Seems our good friend Sean Combs is switching his moniker yet again, now dropping the “P.” and going simply by “Diddy”. Which naturally makes me think of “Do Wa Diddy”, and concluding that yes, “Diddy dumb”. Some classic quotes from the story:

“I felt like the ‘P’ was getting between me and my fans and now we’re closer,” Diddy said.

What?!! Oh yeah, you’ve really endeared yourself to your rabid fanbase of 15 year old girls and wannabe thugs. They were all demanding you to drop that punk-ass P from your name. Nice work, champ. A regular man of the people. And are people like me suddenly going to say “Damn, I couldn’t stand his ass before, but now that the P is gone, I see him in an all new light”? I think not.

“During concerts, half the crowd is saying ‘P. Diddy’–half the crowd is chanting ‘Diddy’–now everybody can just chant ‘Diddy.'”

Or, they can chant nothing. Or they can chant “You’re an idiot! You can’t rap! All your music sounds like crap!” Is this not the height of narcissism, when a person is dissatisfied with the way thousands of people CHANT HIS NAME??? Could you imagine, say, Jesus Christ saying something like this? “Well, half the crowd is shouting ‘Jesus’, and half is shouting ‘Jesus Christ’, so I’m changing it to J. Christo. That way everyone can shout the same thing. Can I get a ‘hey, ho’ like Naughty By Nature?”
Oy vey.

“I even started to get confused myself–and when I’d called someone on the telephone it took me a long time to explain who I was. Too long.”

I have a friend who went to college with Sean – er, Puffy – er, P. Diddy – er, Diddy. She told me once that he was one of the biggest punk-ass kids in school, ’cause at the time he was also interning for Uptown Records, where he got his management start. He’d come back to school, trying to impress all the other kids with his bling and tales of meeting rap and R&B stars. But apparently he wasn’t the brightest candle in the minora. A statement like this proves it. He’s successful, sure. But he’s still a punk.

Now, I do start to sorta feel bad for him here:

Diddy has also been battling his ex, Misa Hylton-Brim, over child support payments for their 11-year-old son, Justin.

After he was ordered by a judge in April to dole out more than $21,000 a month for the care of his son, the rap mogul vowed to appeal the ruling, claiming that Hylton-Brim was acting out of greed, rather than in the interest of their child.

$21,000 per MONTH? What the hell is she feeding that child that he requires 21K a month in upkeep? Are Xboxes THAT expensive? Do his pizzas come with diamond flakes and platinum pepperoni? Who the hell needs 21K per month in child support? And yes, he’s rich and can afford it, but that shouldn’t be the only determining factor. The judge that allowed this should be gagged, bound, placed inside a gorilla suit, and sent via freight to Africa. (“Trading Places”, anyone?) I’d love to see the itemized list of the boy’s “needs” that prompted that judge to say “Yes Timmy, I think you need 21 G’s each month, too.” It probably reads like this:

Food: $1000/month
Clothing: $1000/month
Compensation for Not Having My Extraordinarily Rich and Famous Babydaddy Around to Sugardaddy Me Anymore: $19,000/month

Her lawyer must be the shit.

Peace.

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