Sometimes people tell me “Damian, you so CRAZY!”, and they laugh like drunken monkeys running the Tilt-a-Whirl at Six Flags Over Texas. But little do they know how right they are. In a rare moment of revelation, I’m going to share a nugget of my insanity with you. Feel badly for poor SouthernCanadian; she was the recipient (read: victim) in this lunacy. Thank Arbusto, who mentioned the name of my rogue nation in a comment on my last posting. It’s all his fault.

[10:32] Dark Damian: hit my blog. i diss minnesotans.
[10:35] SouthernCanadian: I’ll write him in
[10:36] SouthernCanadian: I would not vote for you. I do not favor secession
[10:36] SouthernCanadian: though THAT would be ironic if you ruled a small faction of the United States and seceded
[10:36] Dark Damian: yeah, but think of the possibilities
[10:36] Dark Damian: my government programs would make secession worth it
[10:36] Dark Damian: we’d be a 3rd world country with 1st world amenities, living off the teat of the US
[10:37] SouthernCanadian: oh good lord
[10:37] Dark Damian: i’d be a despot
[10:37] Dark Damian: but a NICE despot
[10:38] SouthernCanadian: you have no idea how hard I am laughing
[10:38] SouthernCanadian: I’m sure others have made similar claims
[10:39] Dark Damian: ipods for everyone!!
[10:39] Dark Damian: free porn!
[10:39] Dark Damian: oh yes, it would be Utopia
[10:39] Dark Damian: now, taxes would be a smidge higher than you’re used to
[10:40] SouthernCanadian: I don’t pay taxes.
[10:40] SouthernCanadian: I don’t have an income
[10:40] Dark Damian: well, everyone in Damiana would have a job
[10:42] SouthernCanadian: Damiana
[10:42] Dark Damian: yes. the name of my nation
[10:42] SouthernCanadian: But I don’t have a job because I’m a student.
[10:42] SouthernCanadian: Student = no time for job
[10:43] Dark Damian: oh yeah, all students will get paid to be students, but there will be a cap of 5 years for undergrad, 3 years for masters, and 5 years for Ph.D./M.D.
[10:43] Dark Damian: but you’ll be taxed at 40%
[10:43] Dark Damian: sorry. papa’s gotta pay for his jewel-lined pool
[10:43] SouthernCanadian: I don’t call that a nice despot
[10:44] Dark Damian: I’M PAYING YOU TO GO TO SCHOOL, YOU UNGRATEFUL – i’m sorry. deep breath.
[10:44] Dark Damian: whew!
[10:44] SouthernCanadian: hahahahahhaha
[10:45] Dark Damian: you almost made me be a bad despot
[10:45] SouthernCanadian: So then how much am I getting paid?
[10:45] SouthernCanadian: Since I want to know 40% of what?
[10:45] Dark Damian: it’ll vary by degree and major
[10:45] SouthernCanadian: hey!
[10:45] SouthernCanadian: no privileging one discipline over another
[10:45] SouthernCanadian: Well unless….
[10:45] SouthernCanadian: yeah, never mind
[10:45] Dark Damian: you want some parks, recreation, tourism & management major making the same as you?
[10:46] SouthernCanadian: good point
[10:46] Dark Damian: ok then
[10:47] Dark Damian: roll with me, here. i’m a good despot, remember?
[10:47] SouthernCanadian: okay
[10:47] SouthernCanadian: good despot
[10:47] Dark Damian: free health insurance
[10:49] Dark Damian: we wouldn’t have a military, but we’ll have professional hackers on the gov’t payroll
[10:50] SouthernCanadian: sweet
[10:52] Dark Damian: so – will you be down with my regime?
[10:52] Dark Damian: or do you want your credit all fucked up?
[10:53] SouthernCanadian: *sigh*
[10:53] SouthernCanadian: I’ll be down with your regime.
[10:53] Dark Damian: good choice, love
[10:54] Dark Damian: do you look good in the princess leia outfit from Return of the Jedi?
[10:54] Dark Damian: ’cause…you’ll need it.
[10:54] SouthernCanadian: I do not look good in that outfit
[10:54] SouthernCanadian: or at least I’m fairly certain I would not
[10:54] Dark Damian: wow. well.
[10:54] Dark Damian: guess you’ll be Full Price Girl, then
[10:54] SouthernCanadian: damn it
[10:54] Dark Damian: oh, i encourage the black market, though
[10:54] Dark Damian: in fact, i’ll finance it
[10:55] Dark Damian: and get some money on the back end
[10:57] SouthernCanadian: good idea
[10:58] SouthernCanadian: kitty bit me on the foot.
[10:58] SouthernCanadian: that bitch. She’s banished to a closet with an open door (becuase I’d never actually lock her somewhere)
[10:58] Dark Damian: oh yeah – cats will be alotted by special permit only
[11:00] SouthernCanadian: how do I get two permits?
[11:00] Dark Damian: it requires proficiency with a crossbow
[11:00] SouthernCanadian: shit
[11:00] SouthernCanadian: that’s it, I’m moving to iowa
[11:00] Dark Damian: and a large sum of money
[11:01] SouthernCanadian: I don’t have either, and IrishTenor and I will need one permit each
[11:01] Dark Damian: we’re annexing iowa. they’re down.
[11:01] Dark Damian: Damiana rules!!
[11:02] SouthernCanadian: grrrrrrrr…
[11:02] SouthernCanadian: why would you WANT Iowa?
[11:03] Dark Damian: iowa will develop corn-based weaponry for us
[11:03] SouthernCanadian: HAHA
[11:03] SouthernCanadian: a corn based weaponry
[11:04] SouthernCanadian: this I’d love to see
[11:04] Dark Damian: diamond cornbread razorsharp discs…
[11:04] SouthernCanadian: good lord..
[11:05] Dark Damian: nuclear popcorn MIRV missiles…
[11:05] Dark Damian: oh yes.
[11:05] Dark Damian: we will be a superpower.
[11:05] SouthernCanadian: uh…huh…
[11:05] Dark Damian: did i mention the free ipods and porn?
[11:06] SouthernCanadian: yes
[11:06] Dark Damian: just checking