***COMMENT EDIT****
For everyone who is looking for the comments, click on the number at the top of each post. Yeah, I know it’s not intuitive, and I’ve got April on the task, helping me fix it. Actually, she’s doing all the fixing, and I’m just waiting for her to drop the code on me. Thanks, Ape. Proceed.
***END EDIT****

So, I did like Laurie (’cause I always try to emulate her) and submitted my blog to the I Talk 2 Much crew for review. And I was nervous. I crack a rib when I read Laurie’s blog, but I know mine is more of a ‘chuckler’ than a laugh-a-minute riot. But hey – why not? What could it hurt, right?

Then I started reading the reviews they give to other blogs. Oh. My. Damn. They are evil, rude, vindictive, vicious, mean-spirited, mouthy, and rotten. And those are the GOOD reviews. But they’re also honest, and they’ll tell you when your shit’s crooked, unlike many people who just say “no, it’s wonderful!” and then make the universal gag motion with their index finger in their mouths.

So, I waited.

And waited.

And finally, Laurie got her rating: 5 smacks outta 5. I was so happy for her – and scared for me. I knew my blog had its issues, and because I’m lazy, I hadn’t addressed them. I started bowing up, getting ready to be disappointed (which, coincidentally, is how I prepare for most things in my life. It’s easier to prep for disappointment and be pleasantly surprised when it doesn’t happen, than the other way around). I was waiting on my negative smacks, waiting with bated breath (I had been eating some Funyons, and you know, I don’t have a toothbrush handy here at work). Then the word came down:


I received 3 smacks outta 5. And I was…elated! Really, I was, and still am. It’s nice to be recognized, and the IT2M crew pointed out several areas that needed attention, which I immediately jumped on (seeing as how someone was calling me out on my shit, you know). Allow me to point out the features of the new and improved Almost Infamous blog:

  1. NO MORE ADS! Yep, the ads are history. It seemed like a good idea at the time – I write, you read, you click links, you buy shit, I get paid. But you muhfuckas didn’t honor your side of the deal, and I got paid less than a humpback working for commission at a Maybelline convention. Thanks. I ‘ppreciate that. Y’all know y’all coulda used SOMETHING from one of my links. But that’s alright – I’m not bitter. Tart and tangy, yes. Bitter, no.
  2. Donation button is history. Not a one of you (except Fyrchk) gave me a dollar. AND I GAVE IT RIGHT BACK! That’s all I wanted. $1 US currency. But you couldn’t be bothered. Again, not bitter. It’s gone now, so go on happily reading my shit, this time without the lingering shame and remorse of not paying me for my time. It’s all good. Bitches.
  3. New template. Now, I’ve been wanting a new template, but I’m lazy and ADD, and these two things conspire to prevent me from doing damn-near anything that I WANNA do, but don’t HAVE to do. This is a classic case of me being in the car on the way to work or home, saying “I really need to update my template. It’s jacked up.”, and then promptly forgetting about it when something funny comes on the satellite radio or when some random kid wants to ball-punch me at daycare. That’s how my mind works – I go from one shiny object to the next.
  4. I moved the statcounter to the very bottom of the page, for no reason at all. It’s my blog, and I can do what I want to.
  5. There are pics of me at the top of the blog, because my face scares children, and no children should be reading my blog.
  6. I added a nice link to the IT2M gang to show my appreciation. Hey, blogroll me now! I’m all un-jacked up! And I could really use the traffic, ’cause I have all these ads that I…oh. Oh yeah. Nevermind.

So…yeah. There’s the new Almost Infamous for you. No more begging. No more jacked-up templates. Just pure funny.

Now: Gimme a dollar. JONX!

Peace.

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