From Wikipedia (or as I like to call it, “webcrack”):

The shocker is a hand gesture with a sexual connotation. The ring finger and thumb are curled or bent down while the other fingers are extended. The index and middle fingers are kept together (touching) and the back of the hand faces outwards (away from the gesturer). The gesture refers to the act of inserting the index and middle fingers into a vagina and the pinky finger into the nearby anus (the “shocker”). Because of its explicit sexual connotation, the shocker is sometimes considered vulgar.

There are a number of terms for this hand gesture; the most common and widely used variations are “Two in the pink, one in the stink,” “Two in the goo, one in the poo,” and “Going to town with one in the brown.” The shocker is generally referred to as being “given” or “delivered” rather than shown, much like the way the finger is verbally referenced.

Basically, it looks like this:


There. Now you have your background. And no, that’s not my hand.

My nails would look MUCH nicer, quite frankly.
Anyway.

Saturday morning, I was chillin’, sitting around in my shorts, oblivious to the outside world. College football was on, meaning my ADD mysteriously vanishes for about 6 or 9 hours while I’m mesmerized by the I formation and Cover 2 defenses and onside kicks. Nothing can touch me when ESPN GameDay is on. I am impervious to all wounds, injuries, or chores. As I sat in my bunker (which DWW calls “the couch” or whatever), I was shaken out of my statistics fugue state (How many passing yards per game does Iowa get? What’s the average weight of the Rutgers offensive line?) by this little nugget on the GameDay telecast:

God, I love HDTV. I swear I do. When you’re watching a sporting event in HDTV, you damn near wanna suit up. Also, I dislike Florida and Tennessee. But that’s not the point of this. Do you see what I see in the background? Here, let’s zoom in a bit, shall we?

Hmm. What in the WORLD could that be back there? No…it can’t be. Not on live TV. Still, let’s take an even closer look:

Oh HELL yeah! The Shocker got on TV on a live show! This is what I love about live broadcasts from sporting events – you just never know what you’ll see. I spit Tang when I saw this, and they must’ve shown it about 6 or 7 times. That shit made my day.

Oh yeah, unranked Clemson beat #9 Florida State in Tallahasee. Holla!

I love college football.

Peace.

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