Alright folks.

I’ve been lax.

I’ve been remiss.

I’ve been lazy as hell.

I have been negligent in promoting the crown jewel of this blog: Badger The Witness, the vocal outreach program that touches so many lives every week. (Ok, so it touches, like, 4 lives every week, not including mine and Elle’s. Oh well.) Do you people even remember than we toil every Sunday to provide you with quality content on our internet radio show? Well, not EVERY week – we’ve skipped a couple. And it’s not exactly a TOIL, per se, since we basically just get on the air without any notes, agenda, or idea where we’re going. We just…talk. But still, it’s not easy to talk like that for an hour and make it palatable for the (few) listeners. But your lack of knowledge isn’t your fault. As the teacher, it’s my duty to get that information in your head, and I’ve been falling asleep on the job. So it’s time to re-educate you poor bastards.

1. Badger The Witness is Still On The Air

Yes. We’re still on. We took a longish break in July, but we’re still here pumping out the hits, people. Look for the link at the upper-righthand side of this page to hear us. We used to go on at 6p Central, but the Blog Talk Radio people decided we hadn’t had enough shows to continue in a prime time slot, so we’ve had to move the live broadcast to 5p Central, 6 Eastern, 4 Mountain, and 3 Pacific and Arizona. So if you wanna hear us as we spit the words at you, that’s when to do it.

2. If You Miss Us Live, You Can Always Listen To Archives

This is my fault. I wasn’t very clear on how one goes about hearing the show if they have lives in the late afternoon of a Sunday, unlike the two of us. You see, since we’re an internet show, every episode is recorded for all posterity. Therefore, if you can’t hear us live, you’ve got several options for hearing the show.

  • You can click on the links in my sidebar. Each show is titled and numbered. We’re up to 15 now. I actually have two separate areas for the show, so no excuses.
  • You can actually add the show as a podcast, if you have iTunes. Go to our Blog Talk Radio page and you’ll see options on the right side of the page.
  • You can listen to the show on the Blog Talk Radio site. The latest show begins playing automatically once you open the page.

3. We Are Some Funny, Stupid Broadcasters

Seriously, we make ourselves laugh ALL THE TIME. Maybe the shit’s only funny to us. I don’t know. But the laughter you hear on the show is 100% real, all the time. The shit we come up with is totally off the cuff and unrehearsed. We genuinely have no idea what each other is going to say about whatever topic we’re discussing, and we just riff on whatever comes out of our mouths. It lends to a certain authenticity, and makes it very real. We used to have pre-show meetings on Fridays to go over general topics, but we found that it’s funnier (to us) if we just wing it. Plus, if you’ve been a reader of the sparring lessons we used to do all the time on the blog (which we just don’t have time to do now), it’s kinda like a live, interactive version of that shit-talking. And on that note…

4. Use Headphones, Or Be Alone When You Listen

We cuss. A lot. Elle more than me. Elle more than NFL coaches with losing records. We’re vulgar. We talk about vaginas and burping and we say “fuck” a lot. Don’t decide to check out this program in front of your kids, or at work with speakers turned on, or when your in-laws are over, or if you’re driving the car pool. Just…don’t. I’m telling you now. The language, like Elle’s cooking, is salty. So don’t be all shocked and surprised, ’cause I’m warning you. We’re NC-17.

Now. With that all aside, I’ll tell you what’s on tap for this coming Sunday’s show. A few shows back, we ran an impromptu experiment. We wanted to see if we could NOT curse during the show, replacing our Folger’s Crystals with words like “Eff” and “Ess”. We gave it a valiant effort, but our acidic tongues won out. So, we’re gonna try it again – with higher stakes. We haven’t worked out the details about what’s up for grabs, or what the penalty will be, but it’ll be something neither of us wants to do, trust me on that. We’ll settle on something by Thursday or Friday, and let you all know. And we’ll be looking for you to tune in to the show Sunday to see how we do. By the way, you can call in to the show, if you like. We’ll holler out the number when we’re on the air.

Check us out, and reward us for our hard work, dammit. We do this shit for you! And for free!