They say politics makes for strange bedfellows. I don’t care who you’re sleeping with, just make sure you go and

Get out there and vote tomorrow, if you haven’t already. I voted last Tuesday, and it felt gooooooooooooood. I don’t care who you vote for, just go do it. I’d rather have my guy lose with 100% turnout, than to have him win OR lose by default, simply because people don’t get off their asses and participate in the political process. No matter what happens, it’s going to be an historic election, and pretty damn exciting too. Don’t just be an observer; be a decider.

Whether you like this guy:

or this guy:

hell, or even THIS woman:

(Um, this is Cynthia McKinney, the Green Party candidate for this year’s election. You may remember her from her days in Congress, when she was beating up Capitol police officers. You remember her now, right? Yeah. She’s got some other batshit crazy ideas too. Just go read up on her and prepare to laugh, then call for psychiatric assistance.)

In fact, just for giggles, let’s take a look at everyone actually running for president tomorrow. Prepare to use Wikipedia liberally.

Gene Amondson, Prohibition Party. He looks like he just failed a drug test for Walgreen’s.

Charles O. “Chuck” Baldwin, Constitution Party. Knows *two* actual black people. Well, one’s Dominican, but that’s close enough.

Bob Barr, Libertarian Party. OK, is it just me, or does he look like Bruce Willis from “16 Blocks”? Check it:

See??? Unfuckingcanny.

Róger Calero, Socialist Workers Party. More power to him, but anything with “Socialist” in the title ain’t gonna go too far here. They should change the name to something sexier, like Twin Peaks Party or Topless Agenda Party, or maybe Everyone Gets Laid.

Charles Jay, Boston Tea Party, also known (apparently) as the Personal Choice Party. Seriously? That just saddens me. Also, his shoes looks like Buster Brown’s cousin, Busted Brown.

Alan Keyes, Independent Party. Also known as the “I’ll Put A Pennyloafer In Your Ass” Party, based on this photo. I’m actually a little afraid of him now.

Gloria La Riva, Party for Socialism and Liberation. Man, you just can’t get any traction when the word “Socialism” is right there in the name of your group. Listen – Socialism is cool in concept, but never, ever works because human beings are the ones who implement it. Power corrupts, and when you give a small group of people a ton of power over all the other people, you get Fidel Castro. So try again, please.

Brian Moore, Socialist Party USA and Liberty Union Party. I’m not sure if that’s the “black power” fist, or the “this bracelet means I’ll still be working my day job after November 4th” hand signal, but either way, he need not turn in his resignation.

Ralph Nader, Independent. You all know Ralph. No jokes required.

Thomas Stevens, Objectivist Party. What the hell is the Objectivist Party, you ask? OK – I ask.

The Objectivist Party is a political party which seeks to promote Ayn Rand’s philosophy of Objectivism. The party was formed on February 2, 2008 by Thomas Stevens; the date was chosen to coincide with Rand’s birthday. Although the Objectivist Party was formed to promote Rand’s political philosophy, Rand herself is on record as being opposed to the formation of a new political party based on her ideas, as well as an Objectivist politician running for office. Her view was that by the time the culture was ready for either, it would be unnecessary. Rand was also strongly opposed to the Libertarian Party, with which Tom Stevens and the Objectivist Party are associated.

Um….yeah. It’s a political party that he himself created to follow the wisdom of Ayn Rand, who doesn’t want anyone to create political parties based on her wisdom. So go vote for that walking contradiction, why doncha. But only if you’re in Florida or Colorado. Brit? HDW? Go ‘head.

Ted Weill, Reform Party. This is the party founded by Ross Perot, and the same party that got Jesse “The Body” Ventura, former professional wrestler, elected as governor of Minnesota. This track record just oozes competance (though I hear Ventura wasn’t a bad governor, and probably better than that one from Alaska, ol’ What’s-Her-Name), so if you see the name Weill on your deal, squeal. The election he may steal. For real. Ally McBeal.

So go vote, dammit. Just make sure you bring extra aluminum foil to make headwear for Cynthia McKinney, okay? She says she can still hear the voices.

Peace.

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