Ordinarily, this would be the sentence where I apologize for not updating more often, not posting funny stories or weird observations, and generally throwing myself onto the mercy of you, merciful readers, and pray you continue reading my erratic missives.

Well, screw that.

It’s not that I don’t love you all. I do. But honestly…I don’t really have too much to say anymore. I don’t think I’m going to completely retire this blog, but some changes in my life have led to a dramatic slowdown in drama, and let’s face it – drama is the midgrade unleaded fuel that makes this verbal SUV go. No drama, no funny, and no funny, no writey. I’m not even sad about it…it just is what it is. Now, you may be asking yourself what could possibly be going on that would make a prolific writer got from posting 2 or 3 times a week at his peak to posting once every summer Olympics. You may also be asking yourself if you even care enough to know, because seriously – you have your own issues, and if you can’t come here to escape them, then you’ll happily teleport over to someone else’s writing and leave mine to rot like bananas on my counter top. Well, I’ll tell you why.

No more band: My old band Nonetheless was a neverending source of weird happenings, exciting news, crazy situations, and drama to choke a llama, but since I’ve stepped away from that, those aspects have also gone away. I’m in another group now, but it’s a totally different dynamic, and there just aren’t nearly as many happennings now as there used to be. About the most riveting thing about our nameless gathering of musicians is that we have a white female singer/guitarist, a Hispanic female drummer, and my black ass on bass. Whenever we practice, it’s like calling the U.N. to session. We have fun, it’s very laid-back, and I like it. That’s it. Oh, and we have a performance tomorrow night, Dallas folk.
Repetitive kid drama: Look, I could write a post every day about the unbelievable stuff my two minions say and do, but I won’t. It’s not that kind of blog. I WILL mention, however, that 6YO got accepted into our school district’s Gifted and Talented program for next school year, which is very exciting. The kid’s been bored in kindergarten all year. He hasn’t learned anything yet that he didn’t already know, so it’s time to step it up a notch. He follows a rich tradition, since both DWW and I were a part of our respective G&T programs in grade school (though I think my school was just trying to fill a quota, because truthfully, I suck at math tremendously. I once got a -12 on a test. Not 12 points deducted from the final grade; I mean my final grade WAS -12. As in 12 points below a zero. I am not kidding, and if my man Duke is reading this, he knows I’m not lying. He bore witness to the carnage that was that test from Mrs. Hull. A negative 12. I rock.) 9YO is still nutty as ever, but improving in both his behavior and his grades, so that’s something to also be proud of. See, things are status quo.
Work: I never, ever talk about work, and I certainly won’t start now. I don’t need content bad enough to potentially get fired over it. No way.
Anime addiction: Look, many of you already knew that I was hopelessly addicted to Naruto, but I’m now also addicted to Bleach and Full Metal Alchemist, and when I DO have time to blog, I generally want to watch episodes of these anime titles instead. Street cred? Gone. Peace out.
My stand-up routine: I’ve begun writing material for a possible attempt at stand-up comedy sometime in the future, so honestly, writing super-witty shit here siphons material away from my routine there, and I can’t have that. I’ll tell you this much – writing comedy, REAL comedy, is really hard. We’ll see what happens with that.
Facebook and Twitter: I admit it – if I DO have something funny to say and it’s not really stand-up material, nowadays I’d rather just put them out on Facebook. I love me some Facebook, and I don’t care who knows. Facebook is the complete awesome. Feel free to (attempt to) add me, if you like. Maybe I’ll accept you, maybe I’ll let you twist in the wind. (I’m lying. I’ll accept you. I need more people to play Mafia Wars with.)

So, that’s my tale. This does not mean I’m shutting down the blog. I know I will have things to say in the future, and I reserve the right to broadcast that. But it does mean that my posting will be erratic at best, and just plain absent for weeks at a time until inspiration strikes me. I’m not worried about it. It’ll come. It always does. In the meantime, go look at the people I’ve linked to in the sidebar. They have some really interesting updates, so give ’em some traffic. I love you all. Don’t lose my number.