I have the astounding ability to appreciate music that I don’t particularly care to listen to. Case in point: bluegrass. Bluegrass has many fans, and many of them have most of their original teeth. I’m not a fan. The music sounds like orchestral music sped up to Benny Hill-like speeds, with a dash of “Deliverance” on the side. However, I can observe the musicians, listen to their obvious skill, and appreciate it for its own value. I might not like it, but damn if they aren’t good at it. That being said, I’m waiting to gain such an epiphany for one Ms. Taylor Swift.
I have nothing against Ms. Swift personally…she seems like a nice enough young lady, and plays a mean guitar (even if it’s been Bedazzled to the gills). She’s lovely, very personable, humble, seemingly intelligent, and keeps a relatively low profile for someone in the brightest of spotlights. Her music is light, straddling the line between pop and country a la Shania Twain (although with about 2.4 fewer metric tons of hotness), and easily digested by her core demographic, teenage girls. All that alone makes her better than most of her peers (are you reading this, Ke$ha?) The thing is, despite their various shortcomings and drama, most of her peers have something that she distinctly lacks: a good singing voice.
Taylor Swift is not a good singer. Yeah, I said it. She’s neither strong nor accurate, and you don’t get a thrill while listening to her warble out her tunes. She sounds uncertain and unsure, like someone trying to sing karaoke in front of American Idol judges with a bad mic and a broken television monitor. In Portuguese. It’s sad, and perplexing: how is this woman of decent guitar skills, above average beauty and substandard singing prowess so damn POPULAR? Given her popularity, the list of people who sound better than Taylor Swift is long and astonishing.
- Miley Cyrus, who typically sounds like a goat singing into a milk bucket, sounds better live than Taylor Swift.
- Lady GaGa, crazy as she is, sounds better than Taylor Swift.
- Ke$ha, author of the fine work “Tic Tok”, sounds better than Taylor Swift.
- Britney Spears sounds better than – OK, maybe that’s taking it a bit too far. But they’re CLOSE.
- Rihanna sounds better than Taylor Swift.
- Beyonce sounds so much better than Taylor Swift, it’s like Swift is a little kid singing into a hairbrush trying to convince her friends she’s someone famous.
All that means nothing in the grand scheme of things, because good singer or not, she’s free to make CDs and be successful as long as there are people willing to buy her stuff. Where I have issue is with her winning awards for her so-called talents. Oh sure, line up all the MTV Music Awards you want, and I get why the Country Music Awards would want their big crossover star to take home some hardware, but the GRAMMYS? Seriously? And not just any Grammys, either. Homegirl won Best Album over such luminaries as Beyonce, Dave Matthews Band, Lady GaGa, and the Black Eyed Peas. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t stellar competition, but no way is Taylor Swift better than ALL of these artists. But fine – maybe her produced CD is phenomenal (I’ve only heard a couple of songs from it), and that was a major deciding factor. Then came the duet with Stevie Nicks.
Stevie Nicks is an icon. She’s been around since dinosaurs roamed the earth, but the woman can sing. As she and Swift began singing “Rihannon”, it was clear that (a) Swift was way off pitch, and (b) Nicks looked like she wanted to just unplug Swift’s microphone and smack her agent dead in his mouth for booking her on that gig. It was embarrassing, because unlike a singer like Anthony Keidis from Red Hot Chili Peppers, Swift is supposedly able to SING WELL. And friends, she did not. It’s nearly enough to make me think that Kayne West actually had a point.
A poorly-executed and illogically-timed point, but a point nonetheless.
This wasn’t an isolated incident, either. I’ve seen her perform at live events more than once, and she comes off like someone uncomfortable in that situation. Why, then, is this studio performer thrust upon us like the next coming of Celine Dion (who I cannot STAND, but who can sing her narrow ass off)? It’s a mystery, folks.
Peace.
15 comments
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February 2, 2010 at 11:16 am
KBear
Oh no, you didn’t say it!!I must have read that wrong!!
Ke$sha can NOT SING! AT ALL. Period. End of story!!
She sounds like she’s milked out of her fricking tree! she looks like she’s fried 24/7 and she even TALKS like she’s either stoned or loaded or both.
I would take Taylor Swift over her and her Blah Blahing, Tic Toking lyrics any day,, and that’s saying quite a bit!! lol
But I agree on all other points.. except Celine.. but that’s a whooole different argument:)
February 2, 2010 at 2:02 pm
randi
While I completely agree with your Taylor Swift analysis, I’m with KBear. I didn’t know who Ke$ha was or that song and when I finally heard it I was like “WTF is this noise?” And that’s coming from a die hard Britney fan.
I don’t know that the ability to sing matters any more so much as the ability to perform/entertain.
February 2, 2010 at 8:04 pm
AntiMame
THANK you. Glad to know I’m not the only person who thinks she’s a wrapper with no candy. Talentless. And again: the stupid hair swing!
February 2, 2010 at 8:22 pm
odb1
OMG! I’m so glad that someone else thinks this. I thought I was the only person that couldn’t stand to hear her come on the radio. I actually switch the station or turn it off rather than listen to that voice. Ugh.
February 3, 2010 at 1:07 am
SouthernCanadian
While Taylor Swift is indeed in possession of a very mediocre singing voice, I have to say that she is more pleasing to listen to than Beyonce. Beyonce can belt it out and hit pitches, but her voice is one of the ugliest I’ve ever heard, and she has a really messed up vibrato. I’d happily put in the time to become a judo master just so I could deliver a swift chop to the vocal cords and stop Beyonce from singing ever again – I think she’s that bad.
I think what Taylor Swift does well is blending…provided she’s in the studio, of course, since apparently pitch is a foreign concept to her on stage. Her voice lends itself well to duets – “Breathe” (with Colbie Caillat) is a good example.
March 17, 2015 at 9:22 pm
Roxy
Uuuuuuhhhhhh.. did you seriously just say T-Swift sounded better than BEYONCE?!? That’s actually completely off the mark. Why don’t you go ahead and listen to Taylor’s voice isolated at the VMA’s, then listen to Beyonce’s. That should be enough of an explanation to you. Beyonce’s so called “messed up vibrato” is her forte. It’s what gives her voice flavor and creates interest and lets her show off her very apparent skill. Being able to successfully pull off a strong vibrato like she does proves her obvious talent, compared to Taylor who’s voice is synonymous to a goat’s. And it would take more than you hackin’ at her vocal chords to get her to stop singing. And if you think having a beautiful voice is just about sounding “pretty” then, I feel really bad for you because you’re missing out on so much other actual talent.
I do agree with you on one point though. Taylor’s voice does lend itself to duets because we don’t have to listen to just her. We have an actually talented person singing with her (Colbie Caillat) to cover her up.
February 4, 2010 at 1:33 pm
christie
The RFSB Awards are back- get your nominations in!
February 5, 2010 at 9:01 am
Shonda
Thank you!! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!
February 11, 2010 at 5:30 pm
April
I’m so happy you wrote this, DD. I’ve been saying since I first heard her that she can’t sing. (just for the record, I think Southern Canadian is crazy to think that Beyone can’t sing and has a messed up vibrato) Anyway, I too change the channel when Taylor comes on. And I can’t stand her mouth either. I do think Britney is much worse, though. And Kesha? (which I refuse to spell with the $) She deserves a 9mm to the vocal cords. Almost as bad as Britney is Miley. Although I put them in the same sucky classification.
Society seems to be having diminishing standards for good singing. You know who I blame this on? Disney. They have every child who acts on every show singing. Hello!! Just because they act doesn’t mean that can sing! Fucking Disney. It’s all their fault. Walt is rolling in his grave right now. Or in his block of ice, whichever.
February 20, 2010 at 6:42 pm
Katrice
DD, I agree with you whole-heartedly, (except that I do like Celine). I don’t understand your reader’s opinion that Beyonce has an ugly voice, that one baffles me. But to each his or her own.
But that Taylor… every time I’ve ever heard her sing, it has caused me physical distress and a grieving in my soul. Kanye may be an ass, but he nailed it on this one.
ProTools can work wonders in the studio, but when you’re standing before a live audience, the truth is hard to hide.
February 22, 2010 at 1:34 am
SouthernCanadian
Re: Beyonce…her tone is just not pretty. It’s harsh and unpleasant. Like I said, she has a powerful voice and can hit pitches, but it isn’t a pretty sound at all. Her vibrato is also kind of wild and uncontrolled. That’s why I think she’s awful. I concede she’s talented (power and accuracy), but there are other talented artists out there who have those same attributes AND sound pleasant.
March 4, 2010 at 11:24 am
Heather
Just glad somebody else hears the same thing I do! To hear her sing is like nails on a chalkboard to me!
January 2, 2011 at 12:21 am
2010 in review « Almost Infamous
[…] The Mystery of Taylor Swift February 2010 11 comments […]
February 21, 2011 at 11:25 am
Dirk
“…her core demographic, teenage girls.”
And gay males 18 to 45. You totally forgot gay males 18 to 45.
May 13, 2016 at 7:03 am
keya
OMG…THANK YOU……….I thought I was the only one. Taylor Swift can’t sing at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!