Me and DWW were sitting here tonight watching “Supernanny” – that show where Jo, the British nanny, comes to the rescue of some poor family who can’t seem to raise their own children. It’s incredible, really…before she arrives, the kids are unruly, wild, degenerate, often violent, and when she leaves, they are usually docile, well-mannered kids who say “ma’am” and “sir” and clean their rooms, all without corporal punishment. It’s an inspiring show for any parents who have troublesome kids who won’t listen.
It’s also a bunch of bullshit.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that Supernanny’s technique doesn’t work. It obviously does, and I’m sure Jo makes pretty good coin going around making little kids sit in the Chill-Out Chair or the Naughty Corner/Step/Spot. I got no beef with her. Make that money, honey. If they’re dumb enough to pay you to do that, be smart enough to cash those checks on the same day. No, my problem lies with the substandard, insufficient parenting that leads these namby-pamby, no balls having baby makers to call a damn television show to show them how to be good ‘rents.
Listen; I know that parenting isn’t always innate. The ability to reproduce does not also automatically come with the ability to guide, teach, inform, and mold a child into a respectable adult member of society. However, some things are just common fucking sense, and I’m at a loss to explain why these pseudoparents allow their young kids to:
- Hit, kick, and otherwise physically attack their parents
- Call their parents names
- Curse at their parents (I saw this from a 5 year old AND a 2 and a half year old on the show tonight, calling them “silly bitches”)
- Throw tantrums the size of Iowa without any real intervention
- Destroy their rooms or the house in general
- Take off OUT of the house, running top speed down the street in a fit of anger
And the parental reaction to these uncontrolled outbursts? Crying. The majority of the time, the only real reaction from the parents was to simply throw their hands in the air and weep and moan and cry over how they just don’t know what to do with their precious li’l Damian. The other Damian. Not me. I’m good. Then they have to go through the rigmarole of posting house rules, going over time outs, putting them in the chair, all in the hopes that the demon seed will suddenly see the light – eventually. There’s a trend among all the parents they show, a thread of commonality that prevails in every family:
They’re all white.
Now, I’m not saying that other races are better parents. Hell, I’m smart enough to realize that they’re showing only a very small subsection of all parents in the world, and that’s not enough to draw conclusions. But…I’m drawing a conclusion, and that conclusion is that I’ve never seen a black, Latino, Asian, or any other ethnic family on the show. This fact leads me to conclude that these other ethnic groups have a secret or technique that seems to work, on average, better.
They beat ass. Frequently.
Not gleefully. Not with pleasure (OK, sometimes with pleasure. Why lie?). Not abusively. But enough for the kid to know that, if they keep on fucking up, Armageddon is coming, and it’ll be in the form of a hand on an ass.
My mother would beat my ass on the regular. Sometimes, I think she did it just to let me know that she could. She would beat me with whatever was handy. Sometimes it was a flyswatter. Sometimes it was a belt. Sometimes it was a switch from outside (that she made ME go and pick out. And God help me if I came back with some tiny-ass little weeping willow branch. She’d go out and cut down an oak). A couple times it was a broom, and once, just once, it was a trophy she won. Let me be perfectly clear: this was NOT child abuse. My mother loved me, and I loved her. Still do. I earned those ass-whuppings, fair and square, and I didn’t complain about them. Not that I enjoyed getting beat with a house shoe, but this was how it was. Back in the day, a child wouldn’t DREAM of calling Child Protective Services on a parent, for fear of running up the phone bill. My mom was a school teacher for years, and back when I was in school, corporal punishment was still allowed. She owned a fiberglass paddle with holes drilled into it (for reduced wind resistance) she called Whistler, due to the sound it made on its way from her backswing to your ass. God help you if you heard that sound, ’cause it meant you’d have trouble sitting down for 2 days. And you know what? She didn’t have a lot of trouble out of her students. That’s what beating ass can do for you. We have two kids, and when they step out of line, their little asses get lit up like 4th of July in China. (Shut up. There IS a 4th of July in China; it’s just not a holiday, that’s all.)
The fine art of whupping ass has been for the most part lost in the PC-friendly environment of time out, over-emphasis on self-esteem, and a sweeping attitude of kids’ rights. An ass-whupping serves as the nuclear option: you don’t ever want to use it, but it’s there, you know it’s there, and your kid knows it’s there. Once the kid KNOWS you’ll whup ass, it changes his whole attitude about doing dumb shit. And, in truth, it actually reduces the likelihood that you actually have to whup some ass. It’s a delicate balance, but it works, most of the time. Supernanny shouldn’t even be employed.
Or she should come into the house with a paddle with holes drilled in it. You know, to cut down on wind resistance. Bet those brats would listen then, for sure.
Peace.
26 comments
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July 11, 2006 at 12:00 am
Arun
Can’t agree with you more. “Spare the rod and spoil the child.”
July 11, 2006 at 8:16 am
~*~ D ~*~
Owch, the memories! My Grandpa had one of those paddles with holes in it. It was 2 inches thick and about the scariest looking thing I’d ever seen. On it was painted “Board of Education”.
He never had to use it on me though, I was perfect. :-p
July 11, 2006 at 8:40 am
Debbie
I agree with you 100%. My mom would beat my ass if I did any of these things. Shit, even now as an adult if my mother gives me one of her looks I still know to shut up.
July 11, 2006 at 9:13 am
DWW
All I know is the first time one of our boys calls ME a bitch, Damian better get everybody out of the house – maybe even out of the state – because somebody’s little ass is mine!! We don’t subscribe to the Supernanny Handbook of Parenting – we beat ass!
July 11, 2006 at 9:47 am
hotdrwife
I had my ass whipped quite a bit. I was a mouthy child. But man, my brother? ALL THE TIME. And he didn’t cry or flinch. He’d just laugh at my mom and run off.
July 11, 2006 at 10:13 am
SRB
My mom had a custom made paddle as well. It was named “The Peacemaker”. No lie.
And I will say that as a mother to three boys ages 11, 10, and 8… if they cross the line they get dealt with. Be it with grounding, revoking of Gameboy priveleges, whatever it takes. I will not lose control of my children.
July 11, 2006 at 10:28 am
Katie
My mom beat the hell outta me when I messed up. My sisters, not so much. They turned into little shits that grew up to be big shits.
I haven’t had to spank my son in a while, but it’s not because I won’t. It because he learned the first time.
July 11, 2006 at 12:53 pm
Anonymous
My mother got her paddle with the holes in from the principal at the school she worked for. After many spankings on my brothers’ asses if split in two. After that she used whatever was handy including ping pong paddles (more ass coverage).
Katrina
July 11, 2006 at 10:17 pm
Elaine
A to the MEN brotha D. I watch Supernanny all the time and I’m appalled that these parents didn’t smack the hell out of these kids a long time ago. Sometimes, I can’t watch that show because I’m so ready to go to the house myself, shove the nanny out of the way and kick that little boogers ass. I mean, I’m all for the chill out chair and what not, if its something little, like kicking a toy in defiance, sure. In fact, I use it with my two year old for minor things that I don’t think is a cause for a whoopin. But cussing out your parents?!?! OH Hell NO. That was unthinkable.
My parents only hit me once and I got the picture. (I refused to wear a dress with my butchy self and threw a fat tantrum). That was it. After that, my mom would just give me a “look” as if to say…”you want your ass kicked again don’t you?”
Um. No ma’am.
Sorry.
July 12, 2006 at 3:07 am
Sherri
I love my child, I mean I LOVE her to pieces, every inch of her and I would die a thousand times to protect her and we had a rule when she was growing up. If you are endangering yourself or others, you got your ass swatted. Right that second. In front of God and everyone. I had to swat her butt in Mervyn’s when she was 3 because she bit another kid. That was the first and only time she ever bit anyone. An older lady saw what happened and other shoppers did too. The older lady stopped me and thanked me for being brave enough to do what was needed.
My daughter has been spanked all of 3 times in her whole life and she’s 13 now. I think that if you raise them right, you’ll rarely need to. And, she would never even think of calling Child Protective Services on me. She loves me too much to be away from me. I’ve never been afraid of that.
July 12, 2006 at 9:10 am
Arbusto
I hate this show as much as I hate “My Super Sweet 16.” Now, if the kids were never on one of hte Nanny shows, they likely end up on the 16 show. On that show, there are many different ethnicities. You should watch that, DD.
July 12, 2006 at 9:13 am
jali
I can’t stand the show – but I can’t look away. I don’t understand how people ever allow their children to act like little dicks – there’s no other word for most of the kids on the show.
I didn’t spank my kids – I did other things. My daughter Dalerie (Dallas) was about 3 or 4 and fell out in a tantrum at the mall. I threw down my bags and dropped to the floor and had a tantrum too. i screamed,”this baby is driving me crazy.” She was embarrassed, got up, said “c’mon Mommy” and never did it again.
I was the embarrassing mother. (heh-heh-heh)
July 12, 2006 at 10:40 am
DWW
I made DD watch a marathon of My Super Sweet Sixteen one Saturday afternoon. I was so amazed at how the parents cower down to those brats, I just couldn’t turn away! There is no way that either one of us would have acted like that with our Moms! And our boys won’t get away with that crap either! Overall, our little guys are great kids and we would do anything for them. However, the 6YO has ADHD and sometimes time-outs don’t work. That’s when my wood paddle comes out of the drawer – like last night when he threw a rock at a moving car!
July 12, 2006 at 1:19 pm
Arbusto
My mom’s wood panel was never hidden. It was always right there next to the microwave.
July 13, 2006 at 9:59 am
The Lily
Amen. We were made on occasion to pick our own switches from the trees in the back yard and if they weren’t big enough we had to go get another.
July 14, 2006 at 12:25 pm
Bloody Whore
OMG! I thought I was the ONLY one thinking that all that “naughty corner” thingy is BULL SHIT! I have a 5 year old, very good girl, WHY? ’cause I beat ass! only had done it twice! and that’s it! She’s good. My mom used her wooden ruler! ouch.
July 14, 2006 at 9:24 pm
Lex
DD, I think your mom and my mom wen to the same School of Whuppin’s.
If the ‘rents tell the story, I was spanked 5 times in my whole life. If that’s true, I remember every. last. one of them! The worst was when I actually formed my mouth to tell my mother that I hated her. That day I almost called an ambulance…forget CPS.
So, I think the key to spanking is to spank well. It has to make a lasting impression. Then it becomes a deterrant. Pansy spanking parents end up spanking all the time.
They say kids understand, “no” at nine months. For willful disobedience, light ’em up early and you get to rest later on. They’ll need periodic boosters, to remind them that you haven’t lost it.
My mom made me think she was crazy. It worked!
July 15, 2006 at 8:14 am
Gidge
You are so right. I want to SCREAM as I watch the yuppie kids throwing tantrums and their parents acting like “they just don’t know what to do.”
YOU ARE THE PARENT. WHIP SOME ASS.
I am raising men, not boys.
My kids say please and thank you and may I and on the rare occasion they throw a fit – they get an ass beating and don’t repeat it again soon.
Kids need to know who is in charge.
I am in charge.
July 16, 2006 at 8:24 am
JMC AKA Dr. S-Y Poon
Hey, my parents are white, but my ass was as red as any black kid’s.
February 19, 2007 at 11:03 am
Emily
Don’t think it’s all whites who refuse to spank their children (I’m White, and I intend to use corporal punishment if necessary on my future child), but it is the White who enacted things like the stupid anti-spanking laws and what not. Now there’s some (White) legislator in California who’s trying to pass an anti-spanking law. My message to all Blacks in California: if Whites haven’t had your best interests at heart throughout American history, what makes you think this woman does now?
January 25, 2008 at 1:52 am
Oh Supernanny, I’ve been NAUGHTY! « Almost Infamous
[…] You know how I feel about “Supernanny”. I was watching the show tonight, where she rolled up on a single father who had two kids, neither of whom respected him. At all. Now, I’m not gonna rant again about my issues with the parents on this show because really – if they’re calling Supernanny in the first place, they’ve already proven that they fucked up in Parenting 101. The last time I watched the show, I was focused more on the demon seed children cursing and hitting the pussified parents than I was the big-boned angel who descended from Heaven (or the Spokane International Airport…whichever). […]
November 28, 2011 at 5:17 pm
Indica
If you are going to try and make an intelligent argument please speak like an adult and not a high school student. And a mature individual would know that not everything works for everyone. People are different, and everyone is entitled to their own methods. I just don’t see the need to try and discredit someone that actually helps people. Again, very high school. Maybe I should buy a TV and start watching it. It seems it’s all people can talk about anymore.
November 28, 2011 at 5:20 pm
Indica
What is sad and could use some attention… is an government hiring and forcing nannies onto parents. Lets try to focus on the important things in this world. Parents have the right to raise their own children. Or choose to turn to nannies. But to try and force anyone, is not right, or adult.
August 22, 2012 at 2:57 pm
tami
ya this show, I wanna jump thru the tube and beat then little bastards myself. when my daughter was younger, she wanted to throw a fit because she didn’t want the flavor ice cream she herself picked out. I grabbed it, threw it in the trash in front of her, she threw a bigger fit, so she was taken to the car and got two huge whacks on the leg finished with, I dare you to act like that again. its now ten years later, and she never got another lickin again. I squashed that shit real quick.
February 2, 2016 at 3:08 am
Francois Tremblay
Geeze. I was trying to find a site discussing why Supernanny is bullshit, but you’re a bigot and a racist. Please die.
September 21, 2016 at 4:20 pm
me
The fear of a beating didn’t seem to work for you having been beaten many many times as you gleefully state.. you all can rejoice in abusive behavior but belting and paddling children so they can’t sit for days is wrong.