This year is the first year we’re going to let 7YO play organized sports. Being ADHD, he sometimes (read: every waking moment) has a hard time following instructions, or staying on task, or even listening in general. Even when medicated, it can be a challenge for him to focus, and we felt like this was a bad cocktail for organized sports. We had imagined scenarios where we’d go to pick him up from practice, only to find him duct-taped to a basketball pole with the word “No” written in sharpie on a 3×5 card. We were hesitant, to say the least.

But, he’s been talking about playing sports more and more, to the point where we know he really wants to. Basketball, football, soccer – he wants to do it all. Finally, we relented, and signed him up for youth soccer, which was fine with us, ’cause if he’s out on some field running around, maybe he’ll calm down at home and not try to stand on the commode or teach the dog how to eat food off the stove.

So, I was putting him in the shower last night, winding down the day, when we had this conversation:

7YO: “Dad, are you and Mom gonna come see my games when I start soccer in a couple of weeks?”
Me: “Of course, buddy. We wouldn’t miss it. Why WOULDN’T we come see your games?”
7YO: “I dunno. I thought maybe you’d just watch them on TV.”
(stunned silence)
Me: “TV? What TV, son?”
7YO (speaking as though I’M 7years old): “You know, the TV I’ll be on when my team is playing.”
Me: “Um, son? You won’t be on TV. You’re only 7, man.”
7YO: “Oh. (pause) What about when I’m in middle school?”
Me: “Maybe when you’re in high school, or college. See, soccer isn’t that popular in our country.”
7YO: “Why, Dad?”
Me: “Because it’s a girlie sport. If you wanna be on TV, you’ll need to play football or basketball.”
7YO: “Or hockey.”
Me: “Uh, no. Focus on the football and basketball. Daddy needs a big ol’ house.”
7YO (confused): “What, Daddy?”
Me: “Nevermind. Wash your hair.”

I promise, I won’t be one of those dads who berates the coaches and the umps and whoever else is there, trying to help my kid be a better player. Oh, no. I won’t live vicariously through my child.

But I will cash his checks for him. Hello, Mercedes S-Class!