I’ll admit it – I use this term. Not often, not to everyone, but it will fall right out of my mouth, as naturally as breathing, when I’m talking to people I’m pretty familiar with. It’s hypocritical of me to now stand here and say what I’m about to say, but I’m not afraid of that perception.
We. Must. Stop. Saying. Nigga.
It’s time to put this word where it belongs – in the grave. The situation that happened between the teacher and the student is precisely why ‘nigga’ must go. White people have a hell of a time understanding the correct pronunciation, context, inflection, and intent of the word, and truly, regardless of intent, most black people will get ever so slightly perturbed if a white person addresses them as ‘nigga’.
I have a few white and non-black friends who DO know when and how to say it, and I don’t get offended when they drop it on me. Most likely I’ll just toss it right back to them, making the term irrelevant and somewhat comical. I’ve even corrupted a well-meaning Chinese phrase in an attempt to draw humor from its similarity to that word. And I want to stop. I need to stop.
I’m going to try to stop. I promise. The problem is, the word is ingrained. It’s as much a part of my vocabulary and personal history as the word ‘the’ is.
I grew up very close to the projects, but not actually in the projects, meaning I had an effective escape plan whenever shit went down. And shit went down often in the Huckabee Heights housing projects. Even living there in the late 80s and early 90s, it was fairly common to hear gunshots at night. You kinda got used to it, so long as you didn’t have to go to the ER with a mysterious flesh wound. I had friends who actually lived in the projects, though, and I’d go visit them and play war and crawl through sewers (seriously. We did that shit ALL the time. We’d come up at a drainage indentation on the sidewalk, wait for someone to walk by, and yell “BOO” at them to see if they’d freak out. Good times…) and make pea shooters out of bamboo. And call each other ‘nigga’. When I went to school, I was typically in advanced classes, and in South Carolina that meant that I was one of maybe 3 black people those classes, and I learned I couldn’t use that word with just anyone, anywhere, because other people down there in the South said it funny, and looked at you funny when they said it.
When black people say ‘nigga’ to each other, it’s a term of endearment, but it’s also a slight insult. It implies that the speaker is NOT a nigga, hence placing the listener in a lower caste, albeit not as low as when the listener is called other names. For example, if a man calls another man ‘bitch’, that’s a far worse insult than ‘nigga’. However, ‘nigga’ has a big brother, and that word is pretty much the worst thing you can call a black person in America. Growing up in the South, white people never ever used that word except in its raw, unrefined, “-er” form, and you learned the difference at a very early age. You also learned when it’s ok to say it, and when not to. You wouldn’t say it in church, you know?
As I grew older, I retained this differential knowledge of when to use it and when not to. Hell, my best friend Duke and I STILL refer to each other lovingly as ‘nigga’ when we speak. We’re both highly educated, professional adults – he moreso than I, being a doctor and whatnot. It’s tough to break the habit, but we have to. In my freshman year in college, my three good friends (all black) lived with a white guy, Russ. Now, we were nigga this and nigga that all the time, and eventually Russ thought it would be ok if he said it, too. So one day, we’re all cracking jokes on each other, to the tune of “nigga, yo mama so black, she leaves fingerprints on charcoal” and similar insults, all in good fun. Then Russ, who usually didn’t participate, jumped in with this:
“Nigga, yo mama so black, she bleeds smoke.”
The whole room froze. If it was a disco, the DJ would’ve dragged the needle off the record. We were stunned, and Russ was already laughing at his funny joke, until he noticed the 4 non-laughing Negroes around him. Don’t worry, we didn’t jump him or anything, but we did sit down and explain that it was ok for US to say it, but not for HIM. And naturally, he didn’t understand. That is the crux of the issue, folks. He shouldn’t HAVE to understand, just like that teacher shouldn’t have to. It’s a negative word that’s derived from an even more negative word.
Black Americans are pretty much the only ethnic group that, as a whole, refers to themselves with a term of endearment that’s also the most powerful, most offensive racial epithet for that ethnic group. Personally, I’ve never heard groups of Jews self-referenced as ‘kikes’ or ‘heebs’, nor have I heard Asians call themselves ‘slopes’ or ‘chinks’. Sure, I’ve heard one or two individuals do that, but it’s not systemic of the entire culture. Black Americans need to retire this phrase. It reinforces stereotypes, it portrays us as ignorant and uneducated, and it serves no other purpose, really, than to denigrate the recipient, just to a lesser degree than its big brother, ‘nigger’. And it’s causing confusion. Some well-meaning white person is gonna get beat down because they were trying to be cool with the brothas.
I’m going to stop saying it, or at least start weaning myself. However, knowing me, I’ll probably keep using ‘ni-GAH’, because that’s just plain funny.
A Tribe Called Quest – “Sucka Nigga”
See, nigga first was used back in the deep south
Fallin out between the dome of the white man’s mouth
It means that we will never grow, you know the word dummy
Other niggas in the community think it’s crummy
But I don’t, neither does the youth cause we
Em-brace adversity it goes right with the race
And being that we use it as a term of endearment
Niggas start to bug to the dome is where the fear went
Now the little shorties say it all of the time
And a whole bunch of niggas throw the word in they rhyme
Yo I start to flinch, as I try not to say it
But my lips is like the oowop as I start to spray it
My lips is like a oowop as I start to spray it
My lips is like a oowop as I start to spray the
Sucka nigga, nigga nigga
I throw the sucka in the front for the ones that front.
Peace.
11 comments
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February 15, 2006 at 10:15 am
Laurie
D,
I am truly sorry if I ever offended you. That was not my intention. This post has made me reevaluate my lovey terms for you. I will refrain.
*muah*
ni-GAH!!!!
February 15, 2006 at 11:29 am
NeverEnough
I agree with you. I have two redneck friends that try to say the “n” word around me, although it isn’t in jest, they’re just rednecks and I am adament with them about not wanting that word in my house or used around me. Can I still say “wigger” though when referring to one of my friends whose pants hang past his ass?
February 15, 2006 at 3:11 pm
Dial_tone
I waffle on this one. Sometimes I think people should say all the time until it loses its power, like retard or whatever. Sometimes not. I’m not one to get bent outta shape over it though. 22 years in Atlanta thickened the skin just enough. I think ni-gah has serious potential though. 🙂
February 15, 2006 at 3:20 pm
fyrchk
I’ll just continue to call you “crackhead.”
February 15, 2006 at 6:38 pm
DBhttp://www.dibush.com
I just recently found your site and enjoy your writing. This was an issue when I was a teacher. I had a serious policy against any use of the word in my classroom. When some of my black students would try to explain the whole “it’s okay when we use it with each other” rationale, I had to explain that having grown up as a white person hearing rednecks using the term in a demeaning manner, I personally found it be an offensive term in any manner of usage, even if they didn’t.
I remember one incident where a white kid used the n word and upset one of my black kids. I talked to both students privately about it, had the white kid apologize, moved him to another seat across the room, and the next day got a scathing letter from the black student’s father because I had not taken stronger action against the offending student. While I was reading the letter, I heard at least two black kids calling each other niggah.
I understand the thought behind “use it enough that it loses it’s power”, but I think there will always be ignorant white people who feel this gives them the right to say it as well.
February 15, 2006 at 8:36 pm
Monalicious
So can I call you bitch? Moreover…my bitch?
February 15, 2006 at 8:53 pm
april
When I was in 4th grade my permanent teeth had come in, making them entirely too big for my head. There was a black boy, Dwayne, who used to make fun of me and call me Buck-toothed Beaver. It really bothered me so I went home and told my dad, who is a racist. He told me the next time he does it to call him the N word. So I did. And I was in the principals office in no time. Balling my eyes out I explained that I was just doing what my dad had told me. She called my dad, he came and told her that he doesn’t feel bad for telling me to say that because no one said anything to the boy when he was calling me names. Yeah, that was a fucked up day. Anyway, I promised that day to never use that word in a hurtful way. HOWEVER, it does confuse me to hear it being said that black people use this as a term of endearment when the context is no different than if it were to come out of my mouth sometimes. I suppose this is a situation that I as a white person just have to accept, which is fine because I don’t EVER want to offend anyone or hurt someone’s feelings. Sometimes I’ll give one of my black coworkers a ride home and I don’t know what to do when the N word is said in the rap that I’m listening to. See, I LOVE singing along and I don’t want her to be pissed that I said that word just because it was in the song. Please double D tell me how to handle that situation, my fine brotha?
February 17, 2006 at 10:31 am
Lex Fori
When I was in law school, we teamed up and had “Biggotry Buddies” that would call us out every time we made statements even remotely cosidered rascist. It was a really great way to see just how often you do it without even realizing it.
My Biggotry Buddy was super-hot, so that worked against the theory, because I found myself doing it intentionally just to get her intention.
These days, since we’ve graduated, I have no Biggotry Buddy. And, I’ve left the People’s Republic of Berkeley for the Rascist’s Republic of Arizona.
I need a new Biggotry Buddy. Someone willing to work overtime.
Good luck in your efforts
=)
February 22, 2006 at 1:59 pm
Spirophita
I just never, never say it. To me, it’s not worth it. It doesn’t mean that I side-step or try to act too “PC,” but is it really that necessary?
I think of a similar situation in the gay community–calling someone a “flamer,” “queen,” “fag,” “queer,” etc. Calling someone this name within the group is, like “nigga” demonstrating an unequal relationship between the speaker and the receiver, but it can also be a familiar, joking term (e.g. ‘You’re such a queen’). However, if someone outside of the community says the same thing, it is viewed as offensive.
I think a lot of groups have this–the Irish have “mic,” which may be seen as offensive from outsiders (and was originally a derogatory term), but is now relatively embraced in the community.
Just some food for thought. I’m a “pollack” (and think that term is a little offensive from an outside group), and more than that EVERYONE uses it around here to describe the polish. What people don’t realize is that “pollack” carries with it the intonations of the pollacks being stubborn, stupid, and heavy-set. The reality is that the Polish have been through a lot–having been assimilated by the Russians, the Germans (and pillaged during the holocaust), and have generally lost much of their heritage and language.
Anyway, my point is there is no reason to use the terms anyway (if you have a decent vocabulary, why should you have to use these), and my second point is that this is not unique to this particular group. But that doesn’t make it any less offensive, either.
March 14, 2006 at 1:45 pm
Anonymous
There are lots of things about the Black Experience in Systematically RACIST White America that White ppl fail to understand due to the structure and history of this country. Should we stop using any words that some ppl may not/never understand or have business or purpose to use?
March 14, 2006 at 1:53 pm
Dark Damian
Well, here’s the thing, Anonymous. We can continue using whatever words we want to, regardless of the word’s history and meaning, or we can put it in the vault and bury it so that we can move forward. I’m not saying that America ISN’T racist – it is, on many levels – but if everyone is waiting for everyone else to make the first move toward unity, then we’ll all be waiting forever. For the sake of my kids, I want to put the past in the past.